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[11 Jul 2006|07:28pm] |
I haven't updated in agesssss
so this summer has pretty much been the best <3333
I can't really put it into words lol
but yeaaaaaaaaaa
=]
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[27 Mar 2006|08:57pm] |
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LA de da de da!!!
Ok so my life has been pretty much amazing lately and I love it
Softball has been good...I still suck though hahahah =]]]
ummmm
School === ehhh
I'm so ashamed of myself
My friends = loveee <3333
Except one friend who is like being a bitch to me for no apparent reason.....
HELLO I'M NICEEE!!!! wth why would u get mad at me ?!?!?!?
anyways who cares...i don't hahaa
Ummm
Boy life
at 1st sucked
but now I think it's all gonna go up hill from here =]]]]]]
which makes me really happy
WOHOOO =]
well well
Tomorrow in bio we are disectin worms EWWW lol
kk bye then
comment?!?!
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[05 Mar 2006|06:30pm] |
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Hmm
Life has been crappy lately
I feel abondend by everyone :(
When I had a b/f pretty much hung with him and no one else
Now hes gone and every time I want to hang with my friends they don't want to.............I miss having somebody always around
I have been really depressed lately...no one can tell though cuz I hide my emotions pretty well...but idt I can anymore
Idk what to do anymore
I don't kno how I feel
I miss my friend......but I can't be friends with someone who did that to me...but i still want to :( but idt he wants to talk to me anymore
I miss my good grades
I regret braking my new years resolution
i miss some of my friends
I miss not likeing anyone
I miss a lot of things
ugh
and I found something out today which sucked
but o well it's life right?!?!?
I wanted it really bad...but I never get what I want :[
I needed to let that out
kk bye
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[24 Feb 2006|09:44pm] |
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So there is no more James and I
I don't kno how to feel anymore
Like am i supposed to hurt..yell..scream...cry
I miss him...just having someone...knowing u have someone...it felt nice
It stinks cuz I kno I'm not gonna have someone for a loooonnnngggg time
It took me this long so yeah haha
:/
I feel empty...
I don't think anyone can understand...I don't even understand
my heart hurts
What sucks is I don't think he even cares...like that whole time...all thoes things...it was nothing...:(
I need a hug
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[13 Feb 2006|07:11pm] |
IDk about you...but I kno b/f's are supposed to make u happy...and for the past week I haven't been that at all
Hes just has been doing really stupid stuff........like going to his ex's hot tub with one guy and 4 other girls on a friday night for hours...when his g/f (me) was home and coulda done something but had nothing to do.....yaaaa
gay...
I like him a lot...it's just he does really gay stuff.......
this sucks
a lot
majorly
extremely
to the max!
and now hes been acting weird....and like took everything about me outta his myspace...idk maybe he wants to break up with me so he can hook up with Regina girls
errrrrrrr......this is not my week to be doing this i'm getting emotional
"I like you....I don't want to break up...but idk where our relationship is gonna go"
^^^^umm ya we aren't getting married
he's really emotional
but errr
I just wish that he wasn't so argumentive and serious and stuff all the time...i just want someone that can make me pee my pants...and fall in love at the same time
I just don't want my heart to break.....
ps. it doesn't matter if he is the sweetest guy in the world...there will always be some sort of jerk in him....
idkkkkkkk i'm so confused..................................like I don't want it...but what will happen when i lose it???
BOY'S SUCK!
idk why I wrote this....def. not for pitty...I just needed to get it out hm ya
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[29 Jan 2006|09:52pm] |
I haven't been on this thing in a while..........
I think it's cuz i'm too lazy.....yeah?
ok i'm done lmao
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[15 Jan 2006|01:09pm] |
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Haven't updated in a while.........lets see
Friday....school was ok....I wasn't in a good mood.....and mids suck
Basicly reviews all day :/ and mid day Zach swiched hoodies with me...and I missed mine cuz his is really big er
-Was supposed to go home with Dena but she never came...I guess she was in Steves class......So Cait was like come home with me and we'll go to the DLS game. So yes.....Went over we ate hung out..got ready...then left around 6ish....we picked up Deanna.
It was hot on the gym....umm ya it was fun..sat with Cait's friends..I met this kid named James he was sweet....my butt went numb lol...then we went home....they lost :( came home talked to Jamed online...asked me to the movies....so yes
Yesterday- cleaned my room...and did stuff took a shower and crap....got ready to go out to the movies.....Picked up Deanna.....we were seeing Tristan &Isolde...waited for James and Dave...they were late and I was mad! ok so yea.......the movie was good..kinda boring I feel asleep....but it was cute...go watch it..unless your a boy...Dave hated it :(..anyways
After the movie.....we were waiting around and seen Kim, Shannon, Brice and Mike walk out so we talked to them. They left..talked to Brice....umm we were still waiting lol.....then Deannas mom came said by to James came home and slept.......
TOday = studying....I want to finish all of the reviews today so I can go shopping, hopefully that works out
comment of ya wanna
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[05 Jan 2006|06:53pm] |
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Blah pointless entry right now but w.e. I need to jott my feelings down
So yea....everyone has been emo lately...but I think its just me deep down.
I've been holding a lot of my feelings in lately and I can't take it anymore. I really want someone this time in my life...we'll see where that goes. I feel like i'm drifting apart from my best friends....8[[ Boy life right now = good....but i'm kinda confused on how to feel...but I think I kno how I wanna feel....but I'm just to scared to feel that way cuz the last time I felt that way....well everything went good until he broke my heart...and i'm scared to do that again. blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Zach asked me if I was going to the swim meet....but I guess i'm not going anymore cuz my mom is gay!!!! and I was looking forward to hanging out with Zach and D but screw that...now i'm doing nothing
Stayed after for the sftball meeting........idk if I'm gonna do it...my friends kno why :/...............me and kim were waiting for my mom...and see these retards running outside and it was Zach and his friend...he came over and he was soaking....boys are dumb! lmao
Now i'm home.......8(
I'm so friggin happy my dad told me i'm for sure getting a car when I turn 16..*knocks on wood*..cuz then I wouldn't be stuck home on days my mom didn't want to drive me back and forth.....can u say FREEDOM......3 more months!!!
ok i'm done now
I love you?!?!?
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[30 Dec 2005|05:45pm] |
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Well ya it hasn't really been the most exciting vacation....but w.e.
+sleeping in
+hanging out with my mom
+see family more
+no hmwk
+got to see marian
+movies nights with Kim lmaooo
+days were i was in my pjs the whole day lol
+/- longgg days / nights
- busy
- ^^^so I didn't really get to see my friends a lot
- only hung out with Kim twice
- didn't see the friends I was supposed to see *tear
-christmas was just another recap of thanksgiving...ppl in black for my grandpa
-the shit load if hmwk I have to do'
- a lottt
UGHH I don't want school to start pshh o well......
comment?
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[20 Dec 2005|05:36pm] |
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OHH BABY ITS VACATION yayaya
So yes lets see....long entry try to comment
Today started off bad....umm I was supposed to get driven to school today cuz of my food and crap but my mom made me take the bus and well she took forever to park so i had to dash out of the car and I guess dropped my purse...and my neijhbor found it with our # and called and gave it back YAY
1st- I was sad w/o my purse and camera 8((( It was ok watched cOACH Carter pshh that white guy is sexy!!! lmaoo Lydia makes me pee my pants. Matt was hitting on DEANNA lmaooo Umm Tony was the candy cane elf...yay
2nd- gay talked to Kimmi and ya ate and took notes pshh we are sweet!
3rd- Well b4 Kim helped me get my stuff and we just went late to our classes and pshh we walked around blahhh I kno..then we saw Brice Yuck!! Went to class then Kim got a pass...then I got out my BEAN DIP what now lmaoo. Then we needed plates so Zachary and I went and walked around the school to look for some...lmaoo he wanted to go down the railings but Mitch was there lolz. Umm then wen to Duby's class and got plates...and saw el es Tony! and Brice YUCK! and Nathan is MEAN! lmao Ya then me and zach walked back and he was going for a world record for balancing cups lmaoo soo cute. We were gone forever and when we got back....8((( My Mexican dip finished but there was a little left for me and Zach YAY. Lol we ate and talked and ya. THEN ZACH BROUGHT UP HOW I SLIPPED ON A FRY AT LUNCH..and Mike started laughing at me...but then I explained how and yes....PPL IT WAS SMOOSHED!!!!I LOVE THAT CLASS...seriously its so fun...boys are funny lmaoo
4th- yesterday it was so cold there we had to go to another room..today it was soo HOTT yup did nothing too notes and crap and ya...Mrs. Dennome rocks cuz she gaves us 3 chapters to read and like OVER 100 QUESTIONS TO DO shes the bestest
b Lunch- b4 lunch me and Deanna went to visit kim at her class...so I was slap happy considering the fact of 5 hours of sleep....and I was(trying)to do the splits and put my hands out to get up and deanna pushed me down and I screamed cuz it hurt...lmaoo and they started laughing...EVIL umm ate...it was boring w/o my Chris 8( Then after walked with Zach he finally was able to go down the railings...LMAOO UMMM ya so I was saying he had mucsle boobs...and pulled his shirt back and he had like little ones and he was covering then up LMAOO AWWW. tehehe...and then I kept doing it and he ran away screaming...but he came back lmaoo
5TH- boi is gay...talked to Josh and told him I wanted his Dimples cuz they are SOO ADORABLE!!! TOOK our tests soo frickin easy@! then slept for half the hour and talked more to Josh and Jon and pplz
6th- we watched SALINA...ughh I mainly slept the whole hour soo tired....
after school said goodbye and gave hugs away! I saw Mike lol he left us at lunch cuz he went SHOPPING lucky dogg!!! Gave more hugs away then stayed with Kim...we went to guys practice.....it was ok I guess kinda boring. Hung out laughed did stuff and then went home..Kim didn't come over booooo o well
THIS WEKK IS GONNA BE THE SHIZZ PPLLLL yay
<3 Jen
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[10 Dec 2005|07:39pm] |
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So yea...i'm home right now pretty much bored out of my mind
Was planning to go to the DLS dance then my mom said no wtff....so yea
yesterday was supposed to go to the game...didn't cuz Kim asked me to go to the movies with her...then she didn't want to go anymore so I ended up staying home on a friday night which was dumb and I was mad!
Today....yea was supposed to go to the dance...couldn't cuz my moms gay!
Tomorrow going to my aunts....how exciting not really, even if I didn't go my friends prob wouldn't be able to anything cuz they never can!
What a sucky weekend....it makes me think..I wish I had a boyfriend who was always avalible to hang out.........then I wouldn't be bored 24/7
Anyways yea........i'm bored and this is really gay cuz i'm super pissed my mom didn't let me go cuz it would have been fun. I mean what am I doing now NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously I can't wait till I drive so I can leave anytime I want w/o question!! cuz I would leave now....
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[06 Dec 2005|06:09pm] |
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HEY GUESS WHAT!!!!
Yes
so today was just dandy.....................................ummmm I
failed my Bio quiz cuz I suck at bio the only thing I did right was my
review and thats cuz John did it lol...........and then I tanked my
Spanish test cuz I suck at that too.................so WHAT
NOW!?!?!?......i'll tell
you.........................................idk??? I can't concetrate
lately and I don't know why????
Hmmm lets see my chior concert
is tomorrow HOW EXCITING...(serious voice) not really............I suck
bad and my dress makes my hips look huge lmaoooo, and my voice is half
gone yay!!!
So yes I feel really good at
this moment....today Deanna knew what I was confused about and I love
her for that...........................idk how she knew cuz I never
talk about it....but yes deep down I really want them but we are good
friends and it doesn't work like that 8( o well................what can
a girl do?
Changing colors is
fun.............lately I've been caring what ppl think and I shouldn't
cuz that is dumbb right??? yes lol.....i'm so happy to have good
friends....lmaoo (who can be mad for me) Ppl have been telling me i'm
too nice but I hate drama and its gay.......
At this point of my life I
feel lonely w/o someone.................doesn't everyone want someone
to cuddle with and to be carressed.............but I don't think that
will happen cuz yea..........it just won't cuz its me..... : /
I'm not excited for X-mas cuz
it isn't gonna be the same this year with everything that
happend....and thats sad cuz I love this time of year.....but o well
ILU!!!
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[25 Nov 2005|10:40pm] |
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So how was everyones Thanksgiving?....I hope it was good 8)
Well let me tell u about mine....wednesday was a fun day went iceskating had some good laughs....but that night around 8:30pm I got a call that would effect and ruin the next couple months. It was my cousin crying screaming my grandpa had died........I didn't know what to say I was in shock I fell to the floor and started crying and all that went through my head was tonight I didn't go to the hospital cuz I didn't want to cry and here I was on the floor. I told my brother and it was bad for a while. I kinda figuured Thanksgiving was gonna suck. The next morning I didn't wake up till one and ppl were over....................................I didn't eat until 5:30pm and right when I went to take a bite my aunt sat next to me and started crying and my cousin did the same. I'm not the kinda person that likes to cry infront of ppl so my mom had me take my food upstairs to my room...........so I pretty much ate Thanksgiving dinner alone......................i'm not writing this so ppl will feel bad...I just need to let it out cuz I haven't talked to anyone about this. I sat there eating...crying asking God why he had to take him away during my favorite holiday....why did he have to make the ppl I love sad. It wasn't the Thankshgiving I had enticipated at all.
It hadn't really kicked in till today that i'm never gonna see him again........never gonna here him crack his wise jokes..or give me slobber kisses which I hated but miss already.......hes not ever gonna come over on fourth of July and bring over illegal fireworks and make my dad crazy mad (which was funny).......never gonna be calling me the funny names he does....never gonna be funny cussing and making the room light up with his funny jokes..I'M GONNA MISS HIM SO MUCH
I lost my only and most favorite grandpa........and my favorite holiday
Ya Christmas..........not here..not this year. No tree...no houses...no smell of Christmas everday of December in my house. No lights...no merryiness its gonna stink. Mostly cuz I look forward to this holiday every year 8/ Ya also means no huge X-mas party I was planning on o well....I don't wanna be selfish but I still want christmas. IDK I grieve diff. from other ppl...I want to do happy things and not do sad things and be emo but still me upset inside....like I kno my grandpa is gonna be up there cussing us out...(cuz hes a cusser or boy!!)saying celebrate Chritmas u dummies don't not do it cuz of me. Today as we drove by houses it made me sad to see lights up cuz I knew I had to miss out on all of it.
On top of that I didn't get to go to the funeral guess why?!?!? Cuz no little kids allowed which meant I had to spend the night at my uncles house yesterday and look after his demonic kids 2 boys one girl boys=7 and 5 girl = 2 1/2. I didn't even barley talk to my mom the night b4 and it made me sad to leave. So yes today I was with kids up until 10:00pm more then frickin 24 hours!!! it was nice at first they were good. I made then lunch and cookies and they helped me wash and dry dishes I was pretty amazed. I thought ok well i'm getting pciked up at 4:30 so the cookies and pop won't kick in till then. But then I get a call to plzz stay there until later at night wowowow help me!!!!!!! So they started to get bad and didn't listen to me so I put them in time out....called Chris then got off cuz Ron was getting out of his room so I kept adding on his min ughh it was annoying. Then I decided to call Brice....hes a GOD...or as he put it Nanny 911 lmaoo. Yes he gave me some tips that worked.....thanks lol. Some tips were un usable for these kids............................I swear I was gonna go nuts. So finally after I was nice and made them a smiley face pizza they got bad again. I went to the bathroom came out to find Rondel hitting Jenna with and empty pop bottle and they are like what 4 yrs apart so I blew up. I picked him up and spanked him really hard in the butt and yelled really REALLY loud and lectured him and he was mad. But I didn't care because I was about to go MAD! so then the oldest one got so scared that when I went upstairs I came down to find him cleaning...YEA THATS RIGHT! seriously man I was mad..these kids can't be quite for like 10 min and watch a cartoon they have to be like moving when they are watching!!! WTH porbably for more then 12 hours there they were not quite they always had to be talking or yelling or running oh my lord. All I wanted to do was go to the funeral....and for that hard labor all they paid me was $20!!! w.e. I at least deserved $40..discount since they are family so i got paid like less then $2 an hour...thank god i'm not going back sunday they are coming here 8) 8/
All I kno is stuff at home is gonna suck for a while............................................but it will get better. And I kno it will still feel like x-mas even w/o a tree...like my dad said....a tree doesn't make chirstmas your family does...and being with them healthy and happy is all that matters. 8) I have to look at things positivly. Like i told my cuz just cuz i'm gonna go out its not like i'm not gonna think of him cuz I will, like every sec, when I laugh feeling guilty i'll tell myself not to cuz I kno he wants me to laugh and be happy. Cuz I kno hes happier up there with my grandma who he hasn't seen for like over 30yrs...and hes not in pain no more. I LOVE YOU GRANDPA RiP <3 you'll be dearly missed
I don't want u to think I want attention...I just needed to let this out...I really haven't talked to anyone about how I feel and this felt really good.......................................8/
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